Birth Control, Barack and Babies in Quepos

     While the debate swirls among the political's and apolitical's among us
regarding who should pay for birth control, my mind returns again and again
to the streets of Quepos.  Every day as I wandered the streets, I was amazed 
at how many 15 and 16 year old girls were pregnant.  Walking with either their 
mother's or boyfriends, they would proudly strut their stuff, bellies popping out from
under their short shirts. Here, there are no concerns of who pays for birth control.
Nobody in the lower classes use birth control. By the time sexual awakenings
occurs in these girls, they are long past the time to be taught about birth control.
They give in to their needs like Romeo and Juliet, with the consequences not death, 
but life of continual poverty. 
     I was having lunch one day and a fourth grade girl, a cutie from France, struck up a conversation with me.
     " I know what sex is.", she said looking at me without inhibition.
     "Oh, how did you find out?", I said.
     " Well, my mom tried to tell me but then she said I should just go to school tomorrow and see what the teacher said.  The teacher told me that it's when a boy and a girl in high school kiss so much they make a baby!", This darling 9 year old was looking to me to confirm or deny the information.
     "Well," I said, "kissing is a lot of fun but you can't make a baby from kissing.
And you don't want a baby in high school.  They poop all over you and throw up
on your favorite dress and they cry all the time."
     "Yuck!  Papa! Papa! Did you hear that?"  she said as she ran back to her table.
I was struck by the absolute contradiction of it all.  Here in this predominately Catholic area, the schools aren't dealing with the facts of life. The parents are obviously uncomfortable talking about it.  The centuries of Ticos having babies once they hit their
sexual stride in their mid-teens, hasn't changed. It's such a fact of life that people go about their business because this IS what is normal for them.  They wouldn't use the birth control if the nun's were handing it out at school.  
     What results is often 4 generations of families living under one roof, about the size of the old fashioned 7-11's that we used to walk to for ICEE's.  Nobody is smiling but every one seems happy. Or maybe just content.  They all get along.  A Tico never argues.
They all help each other out without expecting anything in return.  They work hard and play hard.  And church is packed on Saturday night and at the three services on Sunday.  They linger afterward to catch up with those they didn't see that week. There's ice cream and often empanada's.  All is well.  As I watch the families walk toward home after an hour or  more hanging out in the church,  I continued to be amazed at how peaceful they all seem. 
      Two grandmother's, one grandfather, a 20 year old son, the pregnant 15 year old, a boy about 10 and a baby.  Walking up the street toward their neighborhood just passed the main street.  The main woman, about 40 but looking 10 years older, 
picks up her pace just a bit.  She needs to catch up so she can shepard them home,
cook dinner, change and head off to her night job at Si Como No.  A local hotel with a busy clientele.  There she will work until after midnight, then head home for a few hours sleep, rise at 5:00 a.m. and start all over again.  She is the main breadwinner. Her oldest son can occasionally pick up work but he generally just hangs out.  
     It's the women from 20-65 who earn most of the income in Costa Rica.  The men haven't been involved since they made their first baby back in high school. Unless they live in the villages on the palm farms.  They are proud to be providing for their families and seem not the least bit lazy.  
     So when I hear the news about all the fuss regarding birth control in the 
United States and who should pay for it and where it should come from, I am curious as to if the men in charge of our country and churches ever stop to consider how our society would be with so many more children to feed.
     If we can't talk about where babies come from in 2012,  why do we even bother
fighting over how to stop them from coming?
     I challenge each of you to take the time in the next week or so to discuss babies with your children of all ages.  Let them know about the perfect timing of children. Give them
an opportunity to live unencumbered for a few years into their 20's.  Share your joy about love with them, even if you feel uncomfortable doing so. 
  It's time we moved forward into this millenium able to speak freely with our loved ones.  Wouldn't it be a good first step?