Si Dios Quiero

     One of my personal missions is to be less frustrated. 
Since I was a litte girl, I have been easily frustrated and I have always felt I was less of a 
person because of it.  It leads to quick to anger which leads to disaster.  
     I now know that one of the reasons I've been led to come to Costa Rico is to rid myself of all frustration.  The Tico's say, "Pura Vida", which translates exactly to Pure Life, but which really means, "Take it Easy. It's OK. No Worries. No Problemo. Relax. Chill. Chill Out.", you get the idea. For those hippies out there, it's the new, "Hang Ten".  But back to being frustrated.
     Yesterday, I had arranged to meet two, 20 somethings in my new coffee shop, Cafe Milagro, to start tutoring them in English.  Forty-five minutes later I spoke with my new friend, Hellene, who is a waitress there.  She happened to know these gals and offered to call them. Everybody is friendly like that. Always telling me to let them know if I need help.  The problem is that the locals don't seem to take commitments seriously and if something comes up, they just don't show, don't call.  Pura Vida.  It seems that one gal forgot and the other couldn't find a babysitter for her 3 year old.  Now I was warned by those who came before me that this would happen.  Ok, I felt no frustrations.
    Today, I tried again only this time I was to meet the local bartender who knows a guy who might have an apartment for me.  The appointed time: 11:00. It's now 1:30.
I've eaten, emailed, chatted, blogged and telephoned. Apparently it might happen later.
     In the meantime, I'm hanging out in restaurants drinking lots of iced tea, wandering around the town to learn the stores and restaurants and generally looking for shade. If I don't go out today to look for a new house to live in, well tomorrow works too.
    
Si Dios Quiero.  If God Wants. If God's Willing.

It's water over the bridge

     Several friends gave me notebooks and told me to write everything down.

I did that once, wrote half a book about a couple that were spies living in Santa Fe.

Sweet romance too. I really liked that book but it got kidnapped by a man I once trusted and I’ve no real memory of what I wrote.

     And now I’m here in Costa Rica with no phone and no television and the only music I have is downloaded on my iPhone. For company I’ve my three dogs, one cat and a neighbor named Efrion. Don’t ask how to say that. Only Alex knows.  For entertainment tonight, Sunday, I read the Tico Times. I can go to speed dating on Thursday, ladies night out on Wednesday and Salsa dancing on Friday.  Fine by me except for the fact that I live

out in the boondocks down a long and bumpy road which requires me to cross the narrowest bridge you ever saw.  Literally, just enough room for my car tires, with a tiny side railing made of 12” of concrete.  Today my car rode on top for a minute and I wondered if I should jump from the car or just ride it out as it fell over and into the rushing river. Maybe I should wear a life jacket while I cross over each day. All I really know is that Alex wants me to lock my doors and wear a seat belt as I travel along this road.  

     You won’t be able to find me here. There aren’t any addresses in the entire country.

Oh, there are directions like: 600 meters north of the Banco Popular

On the road of the Alfaro farm

To the left of the Villas Jacquelina

Carretera Manuel Antonio

Quepos 6350

Costa Rica

That will get you to the TEFL school that I’m attending to get my certificate to teach English as a second language.  If you want to come to see me at my little cottage it would be something like this:

On the road between Quepos and Parrita

Past the radio tower and just over the bridge

Turn right at the sign Rancho las Tilapias & Chicharronera

Just after you notice the sign to Jaco

Follow the dirt road around this curve and that

Past the school and the store and the rooster farm

Around the corner from where the pig lives

Just past the very narrow bridge

On the right side where the gates are

Just turn on into my very short drive and come on in!

I’ve been alone for a lot of my life. Lots of nights to fill.

Here, it’s the noises of the jungle keeping me company.  Titi monkeys, rain, an occasional bird. Rain. My animals, of course. And the noises in my head. It’s the noises I’ve come to conquer. Teaching is just what I’ll do while I think.

I had a shrink, Dr. Stanley Rosenberg, who ended each session with, “Fake it till you make it!”   I’ve been doing just that for many years now. I’d like to get back to who I was before. 

 Back to who I am.  

Let me just tell you about my day.  I woke to the barking of the neighbor’s dog and to three dogs and one cat in bed with me. I only have a full size bed.  Put a leash on Gizmo, he’s blind, and took everybody out for a pee.  Lucy wanted to play ball so we did. She has a remarkable ability to catch the ball on the fly as it bounces up in the air off a rock.

Came in and feed everybody except  Gizmo who hasn’t eaten since he got here six days ago.  Drank a cup of coffee and took everybody out again.  I should clarify here and say that the cat has only been out for a nano second and I was holding him. He scratched the hell out of me so I haven’t let him near the door again.

     Filled my water bottle with Alex’s invented funnel. Take one used water bottle, cut a small hole at the bottom. Hold over second water bottle and fill with large water bottle.

It works and will save me money as the large bottles are the most economical.

Get in the rental car and pray you don’t fall into the river on the skinny bridge.

     I was 10 minutes late to church which was full of about 200 people all singing to the Lord under a great number of fans.  The church has no alter. Just a concrete wall and the start of a marble floor. The host is kept off to the right in a large gold container that has an angel guarding it.  The musicians are off to the left on the side. Thank goodness for the

terrific sound system as all the babies were crying all at once.   I sat next to a grandmother who loved my bracelets from the Vineyard and couldn’t wait to kiss her great-grandchildren during the Peace. I followed along in the order of my church at home but only understood “Hombre” and “Alleluia”.  Afterward I met my new friend De and went to her apartment in Manuel Antonio to have coffee and get some questions answered.  She is willing to help me find another place to live, my lease is up in mid-November. I took her to lunch and left her to walk back to her place.  She has an open air

kitchen/living room with a shower curtain for protection from the rain. Her bed and desk and bathroom are behind a glass door which she can lock.  I’d say the entire space is a big as my kitchen back home.  She seems happy although after getting to know her at lunch

I’d say she’s had quite a bit of tragedy in her life.  Paradise is where you make it I guess.

    Home to let the dogs out. That took an hour. Back to town to sit in a café with Wi-Fi to read emails and try to skype.  Nobody misses me apparently since there was only one email from a dear good friend and not a soul on skype.  Most of my people haven’t even bothered to sign up so to hell with them I guess. I’ll try not to pout until it’s been a month.  Just found out the “plan”- that I’m on with AT&T cost me $1700.00 for these 2 weeks that I’ve been here. So much for America.  I will try to buy a phone here although I need someone to do it for me since I don’t have any utility bills.  Skype and email will be my means of communication but that’s problematic since I don’t have internet access here at my little Casita.  Back to town I go.  I did arrange to tutor two Tico women for Wednesday mornings so that's exciting.

     Speaking of women, I’ve been looking and there are no pool boys here. It seems that all the men are married and the boys are under 16.  I don’t know where the 20 somethings are but it appears I will be looking for them for quite a while.

ouch

     I just spent 1 hour writing a blog and loading pictures.
When I got back from the Bano, it was gone.
Maybe Manana. I'm tired of sitting in this bar to get my internet.
Lo Siento!

Monkey See, Monkey Do

     Yesterday, Alex and I were filling water bottles.  Have I mentioned that Wal-Mart is down here by the name of Maxi-Pali? They have all the usual suspects except their towels are paper thin and their water bottles quite heavy.  Alex had devised a way for me to use a small, one man water bottle to act as a funnel, while we poured from the larger, more economical one.
He's a genius when it comes to inventing ways to improve.   Anyway, I was holding the little bottle and Alex was pouring the water and we hear Efrion yelling, "Alexandro! Alexandro!
Los monos! Los Monos! "  Alex literally dropped the water and ran out the door with Lucy.
The monkies had returned, more than 100 of them, all jumping and swinging from the trees.

Alex ran along side them, so did Lucy, and got the thrill of his life, not to mention some terrific pictures. I hope you can see their
darling little faces. They are red with white around their eyes and about the size of my dog Peaches.  Alex loved their chatter and the fact that they are called, "TiTi Monos".
     Alexandro made quite an impression on the locals, what with his excellent Spanish and tall, red-headed good looks.  He was head and
shoulders above the Tico's  here. Everywhere
you look you either see rain or jet black hair.
It's a beautiful and makes it easy to spot the Americans.  
     But back to the monkies. Two days ago Efrion drove us in his little golf cart car, actually a Yamaha  4 x 4, up up up the back side of the mountain on a minuscule road.
We were looking for the monkies, who travel for miles each day to find food.  Because my little house is so far from civilization, they often slept all around us.  An awesome thought!

We saw no monkies but we did see this.


     

He was just here. Now he's gone

TT    Alex just flew off, over the Costa Rican mountain range, back into civilization.
He'll go back to televisions, easy Wi-Fi access (those kids don't remember what
we had to go through to get Wi-Fi), cell phones within range and physics homework.
 He won't have to worry about squeezing his own orange juice (just off the tree)
or what new vegetable to try, ayote is my new favorite (green like an apple on the outside and white like a potato on the inside.  A taste between a jicima and a potato).  He'll have the California sunshine and a brown eyed beauty waiting.  I'm so glad he came.  But it's good to start my new life without him.
     We had quite the adventure here.  The zip-line wasn't enough for me.  I wanted us to have an extreme thrill so I took him canyoning.  He thought it was a walk into a jungle canyon at first.  I love surprises and this was a doozey.  We did walk into the jungle but quickly came to a zip line where we rappelled down about 20 feet onto the rocks of a river. Rushing river.
Stomach lifter!  Once on the rocks, we got a quick instruction about standing in the
rushing river and how to push yourself up should you fall.  It was time to rappel again
only this time we dropped about 30 feet into a pool at the base of a small waterfall.

Very exhilarating!.  Just throw your arms open wide and the guides let go of the rope!
You land in cold but not freezing water and swim to shore with the rope and cables
still around your waist.   We did it twice, we loved it so much.  But then it was time to practice in a waterfall, albeit a small, swift one. I went before Alex.  Man was that river
powerful! Such a small amount of water at that point, but knocked me right off my feet.
It's hard of hold on with all your might, turn your body around so it's facing up the waterfall,   and stand up.  I ended up banging up my knee and getting an enormous amount of water in my face.  What an adrenaline rush!
     Now comes the big boy.  You get hooked onto a cable just at the top of a waterfall
so tall that you can't see the bottom.  The guide tells me to turn around and face him, keep a wide stance (an athletic stance )  and use my right hands along the rope to move my body down the waterfall.  Yeah, right!  Scared out of my mind but loving it, I slowly edge my body downward.  My biceps were quivering and I've never been more grateful that I had
a personal trainer for the last year. One slip and I tumble 40 or more feet to a rocky bottom.
     Thankfully, this time when I fell, my fear forced my hands onto the wall to help me up.
Alex came down like a champ but reported the same fear and exhilaration that I felt.
We agreed this was the most exciting activity we had ever had.

Jungle Monkeys

     Alex and I have not seen a monkey actually.  We heard the dog eating Howler Monkey (that’s for you Jocelyn and Leslie) when we were on our zip line adventure and we were told by our neighbor that some monkeys went by a few days ago, but we’ve no actual sightings of any kind.  Still, we’ve had a thrill.

     It was our second night here, Friday, when the town comes alive with so much activity that more than 30 red taxis line up along one street.  We were tired, thus we stayed in.  I had made white rice seasoned with butter and a McCormick’s seasoning called, Perfect Pitch, Cajun. We cooked up some small chicken pieces dipped in a coating that was gluten free and looked a bit like corn meal, seasoned with sea salt and beer. To give it more taste we added softened onions with red peppers.  While this simmered I made Alex a salad of sliced cucumbers with sea salt.  At this point in my life, I’m not taking any chances with lettuce or any foods that can’t be peeled.  There was left over papaya from breakfast so I added that for my salad.  Dinner is served on a wooden table made my Efrain, my neighbor. The table looks out onto the jungle.  It was a delicious meal if I do say so myself!

     Afterward, Alex and I retreated to the front porch to rock in the cowhide and cenisaron wooden rocking chairs. There are several trees

going extinct, and this is one of them. My neighbor told me in Spanish that one can only use this wood if it comes from a fallen tree. There, on the porch we spent a pleasurable two hours talking and listening to the night noises. Alex has a keen mind and is full of creative ideas and inventions. I was honored to be in his company.  It certainly was a perfect time to be without technology.  Without phones, internet, radio or television, we are left to share our ideas and stories. 

     Heaven.

Until I went inside. Flapping around the door was a large moth that caused a large sound to come out of my mouth.  Alex came running to the rescue only to see an enormous brown spider, literally the size of his fist, right by his shoe.

We both screamed and jumped back and started running for the kitchen.

I guess we thought the spider would leep on us or jump on our legs or something.  We were hysterical to look at, all childlike in our fear.

My friend Erica can relate, but the rest of you would have been in stitches watching us try to figure out how to get it out of the house.

     I grabbed a tupperwere and Alex threw it over the spider.  I took this picture but you'll just have to trust me. It was HUGE!

     I am sending you this post from the Cafe Milagro, one of a few places

in Quepos that have Wi-Fi.  We are drinking ourselves silly with espressos

and coffees but the people know my name and what I like to drink. 

We watch the world come and go and already I feel at home.

     (In an aside, the 3 dogs did arrive today.  Gizmo has lost weight and Lucy

was in shock but Peachy the trouper seems happy to be reunited with me.

My little casa in the jungle if finally complete.)

     Tomorrow we surf. There are so many stories I can't keep up.

Adios!

Pictures you need to see

Alex in the co-pilot's seat.

A son's kiss warms a mother's heart.

TOUCHDOWN!

     We have arrived!  Thank goodness my son Alex came down with me since I traveled with 7 bags (2 oversized), my gato (cat) and

2 carry-ons.  All in all, the only glitch in the airplane ride was in Kansas City when Alex and I were settling in to wait for the gate agent to call our flight and I looked up to see that we were the only one’s waiting.  My heart raced as I ran to the gate. As we would later find out Continental is the worst airline for customer service, and they must know it because the flight attendants were very happy to keep us supplied with free drinks.  

     Customs was a breeze.  Our bags came out quickly and we just had

to check out with a customs official, show paperwork for kitty to a different official and send our bags through a large x-ray machine.

Kitty went with me.  $200.oo in tips later, the entourage landed on a tiny grass strip in Quepos, in a tiny prop airplane.  Alex was a bit crazed because our ride wasn’t there yet and it appeared that we were out in the middle of now where. He was still spooked from the driver that told us that just last week a plane like ours crashed in the river killing the pilot who was transporting a planeload of cocaine. If you know Alex you know that this is the last thing that should be said to him if he is going to be comfortable with my safety.

     Our arrival day was spent with a guide who took us to the car rental location ($690 for 2 weeks.  The rent is cheap but they really get you with the mandatory insurance.), to a grocery store that seemed very much like a third world country (soy milk?  They show you soybeans!) and finally to our house where kitty was so happy to jump out of his kennel.  In the grocery store I bought boxed milk, unrefrigerated  eggs, a box of peach juice, a box of fruit juice, 3 peppers, cucumbers, tiny potatoes, lots and lots of bottled water,

sausage that Alex thought looked disgusting, ginger ale, bananas

and chocolate. I amazed myself the next morning by making potatoes with the sausage and added eggs to Alex’s.

     Our cabana is down a long, l0ng rocky road that winds around and through a palm plantation.  These palms have a fruit, a nut that is harvested for oils, lotions and hair product.  The product is sold worldwide and is one of the three industries here in Costa Rica.

coffee and tourism are the others, although certainly the drug trafficking is making somebody rich.   It is situated between a small stream that winds around our house and joins the river in the front

of the house.  I wandered down to the river on our second day to discover a great spot for a barbeque.  A terrific kitchen, outdoor

wood burning stove, beautifully made wooden chairs and table, smack dab at the edge of the river. Between the rain and the river I’m in audible heaven!

     Fueled with a delicious breakfast and serenity with my surroundings, I grabbed Alex for our first adventure.  I was necessary for us to drive the 20 minutes back into town at 7:30 a.m. to check in with Iquana Tours in order to catch their ride up into the mountains for the zip line experience.  Six of us gathered to listen to the safety instructions from our two guides. Harnesses and helmets on, we made our way into the jungle, past the enormous nest of the queen of all leaf cutters.  If you don’t know leaf cutters, they are ants that work all day cutting leaves and carrying the leaf on their backs to the nest.

Only females do the work, the men die after sex (I could say a lot about that!), and some of the females are tiny and sit on top of the leaves cleaning off any fungi or other ailments.  They all travel in single file lines going in each direction. Quite a feat. 

     Once we got to the first platform for zip lining, I couldn’t help smiling as Alex squealed along.  We had a blast and were treated to fruit and wafer cookies when we finished.  Cool.

     

T minus 15 days and counting

    I move out of this wonderful home in 5 more days.  There are boxes to fill, friends to see
and phones to buy. Huh? New phones? Well the story goes like this.  Monday I filled my car
with the winter clothes that I will need when I'm home for the holidays.  As I pulled into my
cousin's driveway I was talking into my iPhone, trying to determine how many minutes I can record 
using the Voice Memos.  I parked the car and set the phone, still recording, on the roof.
You can probably figure out what happened next.  Yes, off I went with the phone on the roof, still recording, driving home.  It didn't take 5 minutes for me to realize what had happened and as I slowly drove back to my cousin's, I couldn't see my phone anywhere.
     Not what I needed this week.  No time to deal with a new phone, but needing to be reachable,
I took my sister's advice and went off to Wal-Mart to buy the $20.00 T-Mobile phone.
DON'T EVER MAKE THAT MISTAKE!  I wasted a day messing around with a phone that
didn't even have coverage in my neighborhood.  Luckily, I have a dear friend who came to my rescue
and dashed off to get me a new phone.  An iPhone 4.   What a blessing it is to have good friends!
Thank you B. 

     So tonight, instead of packing and paying bills and filling out documents, I sat in my garden to say goodbye to the birds and listen to the waterfall in my tiny pond. I glanced toward the opposite side of the garden and look what I was treated to.  I've seen hundreds of cardinals over my 20 years here, but I never expected this. What a nice send off.  This milo is a result of the seed droppings that gathered under
the bird feeder.  It's a wonder to see these beautiful cardinals balance at the top of this grain.
Thank you Mother Nature.
     If Murphy's Law were written today it would include ex-husbands getting in the way of my enjoyment
with our sons, dogs at kennels getting eye infections, fathers who want to spend time with you but never make the time to do it and bank accounts that don't work on-line.  There would also be a clause for children going off to college who request yogurt fruit dip, children in town with adorable girlfriends that you never see and men who come out of the wood work declaring their interest in you.
     What ever is the world coming to?
     Last night I went out to finally have a meal with 2 of my sons, remember one is living in Chicago,
and when they drove away after dropping me off at my cousins, I realized I had no keys to get in and no phone to call anybody to help.   I paced back and forth in the driveway until I got the brilliant idea to
go across the street to a woman I knew to see if I could use the phone.  Knock Knock.  Knock Knock.
I could hear the T.V. and saw the laundry hanging in the kitchen.  I heard the dog bark.  All the lights were on and the car was in the driveway.  Knock Knock.  5 minutes. 8 minutes.  Oh well.  She must be in the shower.  So I walk across the street to wait on the front step of my cousin's house.  Naturally,
being me, I noticed the cops pulling up in front of the house.
     " Hi!"  "Hi!"  It's Betsy Curry and I'm right over here!"   
The police officer shined his light my way and said, "Hi Mam. I'm on another case right now but
I will be back in a moment."   And what to my wandering eyes should appear but 3 policemen shining their flashlights all around the house of the house I just knocked on.  You've got to be kidding!
They called the police??????   This was a friend and her daughter had spent most of the summer in
my house hanging with the boys.  What was going on?    Turns out the daughter got spooked, called her mother who wasn't expecting anyone that night and together they decided to call the police.
Oh Vey!   What is with people today?
     In the new version of Murphy's law, when someone needs help or gets locked out of their house,
Murphy will come to you with a cocktail and an apology for the trouble you've had.
     I'm off to Denver to settle my youngest son into Denver University. Oh what a time he'll have!

I'm trying to leave town here!

     Does anybody else think Murphy needs to rewrite his laws?  Just this week alone I have
run over my phone (dead), tired to switch to T-Mobile (disaster), returned to AT&T 
(dropped calls) and let the new iPhone 4 fall out of my pocket 4 times (damn!).
Thank goodness for Otter Box and an App called, WhatsApp, which AT&T must have created because Murphy's Law continually causes low signals in spots around town, faulty sound quality and  those dreaded dropped calls. Now I can rest assured that if I run over my phone again or drop it while surfing in Costa Rica, AT& T can either tell me my phone isn't working or that it's lost at sea.
     I think Murphy was around while 8 men moved the entire contents of my house into 3 moving trucks in 3 hours.  All my lovelies were strewn on my lawn and driveway. With military precision the furniture came marching out of the house, made to wait with precise chaos and finally chosen to go onto the trucks. After a quick lunch break, these guys did a fabulous job unloading everything into two storage units on Broadway (gotta love that!).

     Where does Murphy fit into this?  When you open the door to the storage unit all you see is a massive pile of unrecognizable wood and fabric!  Diabolical! 
     That was Monday. Tuesday I was running around faxing papers for the dogs and cat to get into Costa Rica, getting the bits and pieces out of the house left behind by the movers, and picking up my middle son and his lovely girlfriend from the airport.
     This is what went wrong the rest of the week:
        1)  The USDA requires you to have a color copy of the health certificate required for 
              Costa Rica.  My vet doesn't have color copy capability.  5 hours later we find a printer
              to email the certificates with.   
        2)  Gizmo gets an eye infection from all the hay and dust where he is boarded. His
              ears have begun to smell as well.  He was snorting up his burgers the day I took
              him in for his vet check.   The kennel is now on high alert to get his infection cleaned 
              up.  Gizzy won't be allowed in with anything wrong with him.
        3)  I realize that I am going back to Kansas City late on Tuesday night.  Not a problem               
              until I realized I leave for CR on Thursday not Friday and I have overbooked my
              goodbyes.
        4)  I had to go to Federal Express to mail the dog certificates to Topeka. It took me 
              4 tries to fill out the forms.
        5)   I say, "Soy content"  instead of, "Estoy content" when meeting the girlfriend and 
              realize I need a hearing aid!  
  
     Well let's hope the move into the college dorm goes smoothly!